It's the only answer that makes sense.
I've often told people, when posed with a problem, when a crisis arises out of seemingly nowhere, when it inexplicably hits the fan, you can usually find the solution by first finding the root of the problem. In these cases, usually when you eliminate all rational, logical, and reasonable conclusions, taking out any type of answer that makes sense, you're left with two conclusions as to the root of the problem.
Magic or Stupidity.
Now, I've seen some pretty cool tricks over the years and I've fallen victim to some slight of hand and the occassional moment of "how'd he do that?". But, unfortunately, I don't believe in magic. I do, however, believe firmly in the idiocy of others. I've seen it far too many times, so much so, I treat random acts of intelligence like Catholics treat an image of the Madonna in a tree stump or how some Buddhists view the birth of a new Dahli Lama... clearly, these events to happen often, so when they do, I try to cherish them.
There are fools abound, near and far, and there's nothing you, nor I can really do about that. The REAL problem is when idiots, fools, dummies, and other random ne're-do-wells inact their inept will upon you or your day. Nothing derails the happy train like stupidity, particularly the stupidity of others.
What's the message, man? What's this got to do with me?
Well, you're probably an idiot... it's okay, we're all prone to random acts of idiocy, lapses of conciousness, dips below average. I do it myself. But, when in the midst of doing something stupid, you realize just how dub it is, do me this favor.
Stop. Put down whatever you're doing. Apologize to someone for doing whatever stupid act it is you're doing to the nearest individual.
Got that?
Topic 3: People who dress their pets.
These people need to be dragged into the streets and beaten with rakes. There are children in Guatemala who don't have shoes and yet these dolts feel the need to put a sweater on a pug. WTF. God gave the animal fur, that's the sweater God gave it, and far be it from me to questions the intentions of the almighty.
If you feel the urge to clothe your pets, stop. call me. I'll come to your house and gently slap some sense into you.
3 Comments:
Dude you are starting with a bang!
On an unrelated note, do you still have that malt liquor comparison chart? How would I access it now?
On the issue of people clothing their pets, I couldn't agree more. How asinine is it to outfit less than sentient beings who are fascinated with sniffing another dog's rear? The indignation you express regarding folks clothing pets is the same way I feel about the damned phenomenon known as competitive eating. Residents of the richest nation in the world ares starving whilst others wolf down hot dogs at a gluttonous pace just to vomit them up.
My Ma was right: "People are free 'til they're crazy."
I couldn't agree more. I have yet to see something as ridiculous as a dog in a sweater and a pair of "shoes". BLAH! I saw stuff like that by LMU all the time. I am so glad I have no reason to be on that special side of town anymore.
You know, I would be happy to assist you in "helping" people such as the Dog-Clothers. I'll happily take on the West Coast Sector on behalf of your Campaign for Common Sense. There is an over-abundance of folks to slap in Southern Cali alone.
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